Life moving forward for good things

Wow, a friend of mine on facebook just reminded me that I even have this blog. Hmmm, what’s been going on since my last entry four months ago?

I was re-reading my posts and I see a pattern. Feel good, free crappy, feel ok, focused, observant, feel good & strong. The pattern I see…Two steps UP, one step Down, one step Up, 2 step sideways, 2 steps UP. If I were to make this a graph, it would mostly be an uphill climb. That’s good!

My best friend has returned, but I have questions. Why back?, why now (two months ago)?, will they leave again and if so when? Do I believe in miracles? G_d I hope so. Are things too good to be true. G_d I hope not. That’s too deep, where the heck did that perspective come from?

At face value, here is what I have been up to….. I rode my bike & exercised daily/consistently until about Mid-December. It dwindled from there for several reasons (not for bad, just for life challenges). I still go to the Theatre (Broadway Plays here on the west coast), and national basketball games (Go Blazers! & Lakers!). Gone out a few times with friends to local bars, dances & restaurants. Even attended a Scrapbooking convention for a couple of days. Keep building on the social side of me. Good positive changes!

Work has been very busy. By trade I am a worker bee, but have been teaching other co-workers across my employer on different topics. I am honored they chose me. I am enjoying it. I hear from others that most staff speak pretty highly of me, my knowledge, my skillset, my work ethics, etc. What a nice thing to know. Believe you me, I do not take this information lightly. I have worked hard to have a good reputation and I am happy my hard work has paid off. My only job now is to keep doing what I am doing and be the best person I can be (sounds like a familiar cliché).

Speaking of new upbeat things…I signed up for a half-marathon -13 miles. Yes, you read that correctly. Am I crazy, ha, yes. I am learning to walk. I spoke with a trainer today. He, the trainer promises to teach me jog and eventually run. Go figure. I need to learn to WALK first. I am up to 2-3 miles of walking. Now I need to learn to walk at a minimum pace of about 15 min/mile. Doesn’t sound hard to you? Well, I’ve been doing it for three weeks now and just got down from 20 minute average to a 17 minute average. My trainer won’t let me move on to next stage until I get the consistency down. Please don’t tell him I’ve been doing some jogging on my own. I never was very patient at waiting. I have until September for the next Susan G Komen Race for the Cure. For the first time I want to run it. It is only a 5k, but it should be an easy run so in October I can run (or at least walk/jog/run) the half marathon. Again, good positive changes.

Well, I am not sure how to end this, so I will just say goodday/goodnight wherever you are and whatever time it is that you came to visit.

Until next time……..Cheers! \__/ \__/ \__/ \__/

Constant Changes

Constant Change - an oxymoron - that is what life has been since my last post.

I have been constantly making and accepting changes.

Let's see, on one hand some parts of my life are more complicated than ever. On the other hand my social life is expanding.

I took on a challenge for Susan G Komen Race for the Cure - you can still donate thru Oct 19th - http://rfcp.convio.net/goto/DevraS I successfully raised over $2,600 and am one of the top 100 fundraisers in my city.

I have began scrapbooking, card making and project swapping again. I started riding my bike to work (for three weeks now). I continue to grow closer to my friends and family, even those far away.

Balancing home/social life & work life has been a positive challenge.

I am learning more about who I am and what I am capable of!

I will leave the heavy challenging mood swings for another blog. For now I must remember I am strong, I am a survivor!

thanks for reading my ramblings...........

Observing myself & people......a need to heal but when

Hello again world
I'd like to say I have something exciting to say but alas, it's just day to day life and a bit of sadness.

I feel alone. I can't see my future anymore. Things have changed and not for the better. I know that I will get there again, but right now it's just hard. Right now most of days are work related. Don't get me wrong. I like my work. I just wish I liked my social side of life. It's "ok", but a struggle. When will I heal and learn to live again?,

My recent observation about life:
When the initial stress is there a few people come to support you. It is surprising who those people are and who they are not. Yes, family for the most part, but the others, strangely not those you expect.

Time passes and you sit and wonder where did everyone go. Because you are not wiggin out, screaming, crying or whatever you do people assume you must be fine. They move on with their lives. But does silence mean you are fine or just tired?

Does the fact that they quit calling or checking in on you make people good or bad? I don't think so, but you learn alot about people you thought you already knew. Who will really go the extra mile for you? I have had many people tell me that a real friend understands you and accepts you despite your shortcomings, kinda like family. But they are more. A few sayings come to mind:

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Walter Winchell

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope that someday I can find such a friend. I had one, or at least thought I had, but now know it was just a farce in the end. Sad, very sad.

Will you help save a life?

July 2009 -- Sept 2009 focus
Most of us have had experiences that can break or heal us. I have been through both good and bad times, too. But today I choose to focus on something good. Fundraising for a great cause. I have been doing this since 2007. So many women tell me they hadn't had a mammogram in years, but since they heard my story they now go annually. That is beautiful. Prevention is soooo important. But these are women who can go to the doctor. Many women cannot for financial reasons. Susan G Komen helps those women by donating to the clinics to make a mammogram free or low cost. Your donations makes that happen. Won't you help us help those who need it?
http://rfcp.convio.net/goto/DevraS
Every dollar counts............

What was your day like?

What was your day like? I would like to live through the eyes of others for a short time.

Mine was pretty boring atypical for me. I went to work. I went to a business meeting (not work related). I went to the doctor's office. I watched a movie called "12 rounds". It's a fairly good action film, you should rent it. Returned the rental movie. Somewhere in there I walked my two dogs (Boris and Tasha the Schipperke pair) and played with their squeekie toys. Yes, I let them play, too. And POOF, the day was over. It's now late in the evening and taking a few minutes to check email, check-in here and then call it a night. All so I can do it all over again tomorrow.

I am sure my day sound pathetic to some and busy or whatever to others. But in the throw of everything I know I have friends and acquaintences that care. That is the exciting part of my day.

So now, comment and tell me about your day..............

and don't forget to check out http://rfcp.convio.net/goto/DevraS

Funny how time flies. I wrote the below blog. It is now July 6th, 2009 and I didn't even remember starting the blog. WOW............

It is Saturday, January 31, 2009 . It's almost 1:30pm and am still in my pjs......LOL Why am I here? I have no clue. Yet, somehow, here I am. I am a very lucky person. I have lived enough years to know there is so much more to learn and yet never enough time. Hmmm, sounds "heavy". It just means we make choices and those choices take us to places. Kind of like today. I could make this day very fulfilled and productive (ah but procrastination got in the way). I decided to first check my email. This lead me to a scrapbookers blog or two or three and ended up here. What lead you here? Tell me............... ps. if you know who I am, you can find me on myspace and on facebook! AND HAVE A WONDERFUL LAZY SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Here we are 6 months later and things are not quite so relaxed and peachy-keen.

My story in short:

These past 7 + yrs I have been through a lot. I had an emergency appendectomy which lead to other icky findings. Shortly after that my father died of multiple cancers and parkinson's disease. Shortly after that I had another emergency surgery due to masses near my colon (ended up benign), then came the loss of my baby boy 20 weeks into the pregnancy. As if that wasn't enough, then I had breast cancer. During this same time we lost my mother and father-in-law (they were closer to me in many ways than my own parents).

But let's not dwell on the crappy stuff for now.

Instead I would rather focus on something positive, something good. Something worthwhile.

My choice is breast cancer.

I want to help others. I want to pass along knowledge that I have learned and help raise funds that will help those in need. You can read my story and help by going to http://rfcp.convio.net/goto/DevraS

Then once you have read that page and/or made your donation, come back here and comment away. Tell me your story or comment on mine.

The conversation around the need for mammograms, early detection and finding a cure is a conversation we need to keep going................