I'd like to say I have something exciting to say but alas, it's just day to day life and a bit of sadness.
I feel alone. I can't see my future anymore. Things have changed and not for the better. I know that I will get there again, but right now it's just hard. Right now most of days are work related. Don't get me wrong. I like my work. I just wish I liked my social side of life. It's "ok", but a struggle. When will I heal and learn to live again?,
My recent observation about life:
When the initial stress is there a few people come to support you. It is surprising who those people are and who they are not. Yes, family for the most part, but the others, strangely not those you expect.
Time passes and you sit and wonder where did everyone go. Because you are not wiggin out, screaming, crying or whatever you do people assume you must be fine. They move on with their lives. But does silence mean you are fine or just tired?
Does the fact that they quit calling or checking in on you make people good or bad? I don't think so, but you learn alot about people you thought you already knew. Who will really go the extra mile for you? I have had many people tell me that a real friend understands you and accepts you despite your shortcomings, kinda like family. But they are more. A few sayings come to mind:
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.Walter Winchell
The only way to have a friend is to be one.Ralph Waldo Emerson
I hope that someday I can find such a friend. I had one, or at least thought I had, but now know it was just a farce in the end. Sad, very sad.
